Apr 29 2011

Dreaming of My Prince

My prince and I when we renewed our vows. © Photo by Bella Pictures

My prince and I when we renewed our vows. © Photo by Bella Pictures

Today, as I watched the Royal Wedding (yes, I was up at the crack of dawn to watch it live), I could not help but remember my own wedding day in Italy and our vow renewal in the United States. And I found myself dreaming of my prince, who is in Italy right now while I’m toiling away in the United States. Despite the challenges of sometimes having to live apart, I love my prince. I thought this photo really captured that; it also happens to show him looking at me in a way that proves he’s crazy for me, and it’s not often that a photo captures the look, but this one did. Many people wished us a lifetime of happiness that day, and I think those well wishers brought us good luck. Let’s do the same for the Royal Newlyweds. You can send them a message (and marriage advice) on the About.com Newlyweds site. Or read their profile to learn their love story. Or both. You can also dream about your own prince or princess and share your own wedding story, too.


Apr 25 2011

Ischia – Italy’s Islanders 9

Vacation isn't always paradise, even in Ischia, one of Italy's most beautiful islands. © Photo by Francesca Di Meglio

Vacation isn't always paradise, even in Ischia, one of Italy's most beautiful islands. © Photo by Francesca Di Meglio

Get the truth about one of Italy’s most popular islands – and its people – by reading my new weekly blog installments (every Monday right here on this site)

Chapter Nine – First Pangs of Pain

Tony is the typical Italian man boy. He is prettier than I could ever dream of being with his curly dark locks, matching goatee, and emerald green eyes. At over six-feet tall, he is an entire foot taller than I am. On that fateful night at Pirozzi when we first met and he teased about getting engaged, I was convinced he was nothing more than an Italian charmer. I had met so many of them already over the years, and they were all talk. No one was interested in a serious relationship, especially with an American girl on vacation in Ischia. Funny, with his puns and sarcasm, he had us all laughing, and seemed genuinely interested in my work and me.

At the end of the meal, he convinced me to share a baba’ with strawberries and whipped cream. Although I never cared for the rum-soaked pastry, I devoured it with pleasure. The strawberries and cream made all the difference. Or maybe it was sharing with Tony that did me in.

After dinner, we headed to the nightclub Valentino, where Tony and Roberto worked together. We danced, and Tony was certain to stay close enough to me to rub my shoulder with his. There was definitely a spark of something. Within minutes, however, Lisa grabbed me and said, “Dobbiamo andare – ORA!” (“We must leave – NOW!”) Apparently, she was freaked out because Roberto had said hello to two women with whom he had attended school. She was fuming like Vesuvio, and it like an overreaction to me. Still, Roberto agreed to take her home, and he brought me back to his house. Although Lisa thought he was going home, too, he returned to Valentino, Tony, and some of their other friends without ever speaking a word of it to Lisa. He told me to keep his secret, too.

There was little time to reflect on my attraction to Tony or the lies and jealousy between Roberto and Lisa. Two days later I was interviewing some people from Ischia who had family ties to San Pedro, California. I was writing a story for San Pedro’s local paper about all the immigrants from Ischia Ponte who had lived between the two sister cities. While photographing my source outside of the hotel where Tony worked, I somehow fell. And I could barely walk. There was an electric pain that ran throughout my left leg but began in my knee. The man I was interviewing and his boss at the hair salon where he worked helped me onto the curb and gave me some ice. I feigned being all right and headed toward the bar where I was to meet my grandparents.

Hardly able to stand, I hobbled as best I could. My face was as red as a San Marzano tomato. When I saw my grandparents, I began sobbing uncontrollably. It was as if the insides of my knee had exploded and caused a fire throughout the rest of my leg. I even called my mom, who was asleep in the United States, where it was about 4 in the morning, because, well, I wanted my mommy.

My grandparents insisted that I go to the hospital, and I agreed. We hailed a cab and headed to Lacco Ameno, home to the only hospital on the island. I saw a very handsome, young doctor, who could have been a hair model and wore a silver ring on his thumb. He told me that it was probably just a bad bruise, and I should take a couple aspirin and rest it for a couple of days.
That was enough for my grandfather to suggest we follow our plan, which was to go out to lunch at the Riva Destra, a row of restaurants and pubs in Ischia Porto, which sit right on the water, where everyone goes to see and be seen. Chowing down on linguine con vongole, I was fine. When I tried to stand up when we were ready to leave, I plopped right back down in my seat. My knee was swelling up like a balloon, and I didn’t know how I was going to manage to even get to the bus stop, let alone get home to Gabriele and Franca’s house.

Taking turns, my grandparents held me up by my arm while I limped along. It began raining. My grandfather insisted we take the bus to Maronti and that it would bring us to the piazza in Barano, which is where Gabriele and Franca live. But my grandmother and I knew he was wrong. He’s more stubborn than the mules that take you up to Ischia’s highest point, Epomeo. So, we all got onto the bus. When the bus turned toward Maronti without stopping in Barano, we jumped off. Unable to walk, I was making my grandfather nervous, so he suggested a shortcut. The only problem? The shortcut was up a mountain, which was full of mud as the rain was coming down. I held my knee together, which was continuing to swell and now felt as though it was in two parts, as I practically crawled uphill. When we got to the top, we met a friend who could drive us that one extra block. I hid behind my grandparents as we walked into the house because Gabriele is a notorious worrier, and I didn’t want to upset him. After all, it was probably just a bad bruise as the doctor told me.

Shortly after we arrived, a friend of the family, who is a professor, came by to say hello. And he would not leave. I began sweating profusely as my knee swelled so much that my jeans now felt like a tight rubber band around my leg. Three hours later, my cousin the doctor arrived, and saved me. The professor finally went home. At the hospital, Dr. Hair had wrapped my “bruise,” and I quickly ripped off the bandages only to discover that my knee was now the size of a cantaloupe. This was more than a bruise.

Within a couple of hours my cousin had called another “medical professional,” who I now refer to as the witch doctor. Just as they arrived at Gabriele and Franca’s house so did Tony. He showed up to see me. The witch doctor had him and Roberto place me on the bed, stomach down. Then, the witch doctor yanked on my leg to try and put my kneecap in place. I screamed so hard that my cousin, who lives next door, came running to see if I was being raped. Tony and Roberto asked the doctor to leave me alone. At that point, they carried me into the living room. Surrounded by Tony the charmer, Roberto, my grandparents, my cousin the doctor, my cousin next door, Gabriele and Franca, I sat on the couch as the witch doctor gave me three shots of God knows what directly into my knee. This “vacation” was turning out to be hardly a vacation at all.

I prayed that the next morning my knee would be better and that I’d get to know why Tony wanted to see me…

Some names and identifying characteristics of the real people involved have been changed.

Tune into this Web site, Two Worlds, every Monday for the latest installment in my blog about my experiences in Ischia, and every other Monday to ItaliansRus.com for the latest Our Paesani column about all things Italian. Di Meglio is also the Guide to Newlyweds for About.com.


Apr 25 2011

Maria’s First Easter

Maria poses in her Easter finest. © Photo by Francesca Di Meglio

Maria poses in her Easter finest. © Photo by Francesca Di Meglio

We’ve been celebrating Easter for three weeks now. First, on the day after my niece Maria’s first birthday, we threw our annual Easter party, where we dye eggs and decorate cookies with our little cousins. (To join the party, visit the “Easter Party 2011” photo album.) One week later, we celebrated Easter on Palm Sunday to celebrate with my husband before he returned to Italy for what is already a very long spring and summer. Finally, we celebrated Easter over the last few days. This last weekend of fun included a visit with the Easter bunny, a hop through Zia’s house to find eggs filled with treats, and all the cannoli and strawberries you could eat. Or at least that’s how Maria celebrated. You can see her experiencing the holiday in the “Easter Weekend 2011” photo album. And a happy Pasquetta (Easter Monday) to all!


Apr 18 2011

Ischia – Italy’s Islanders 8

Meeting your second half - or at least someone to have fun with - is easy as stumbling on a little lizard in Ischia. © Photo by Francesca Di Meglio

Meeting your second half - or at least someone to have fun with - is easy as stumbling on a little lizard in Ischia. © Photo by Francesca Di Meglio

Get the truth about one of Italy’s most popular islands – and its people – by reading my new weekly blog installments (every Monday right here on this site)

Chapter Eight – Meeting My Italian Man

A few months before my grandparents and I left for Ischia, I had endured the black out with the rest of New York City and the entire eastern seaboard. While on a six-hour-long line to get the ferry back to New Jersey, I helped a woman who fainted. It turned out she had mono, and a week later I started displaying the symptoms, too. I didn’t even get the kissing disease in the fun way. After that, I fell down the stairs once, and slept for about four months. Indeed, I was having no fun at all. Still, I was feeling much better when we got to Italy, but I was still weak. And the weather was not cooperating.

A year earlier, the sun shone on Ischia so brightly that I burned like a fire. But this time around, there was ice – or at least cold rain. It was a not-so-subtle sign from God of things to come. My grandfather dragged my grandmother and I from one family member’s home to another. Each stop featured the same routine. First, a young, far-removed cousin would answer the door and force feed us espresso (which I hate) and pastiera, a wheat pie that Italians in the south serve at Easter (which I hate). If you turned any of these relatives down or did not praise their pastiera, you insulted them. My grandfather insisted we didn’t offend.

After gagging on pastiera and espresso, we would be ushered into a bedroom, where we’d spend the rest of our time watching an elderly relative squirm in bed and try to remember who my grandfather was. They were senile and sick and most of them never left bed anymore. It was sad, really. Most of the time none of us knew what to say, not even my grandfather who insisted on these visits in the first place. But just when you were on the verge of tears, the ill would do something unwittingly that eased the tension. One of the men, who was lying in bed with his equally senile wife, who tried to communicate something to him in a language that could only be described as gibberish, let out a big fart, and said, “Ahhhhh,” when he finished. And we all roared with laughter.

Every day, we would walk for miles in the rain from one relative to the next, and my grandmother was terrified of getting sick. She kept eating oranges with me to get in as much vitamin C as possible and ward off the evil sick spirits. I was so worried about her. I wanted my grandparents to come with me to Italy, so I could keep an eye on them and they wouldn’t be alone if something happened.

In the evenings, we would gather around Gabriele and Franca’s table and eat and talk and talk and eat. Other cousins would stumble in throughout the night. But I was feeling tired, and I soon developed a rather terrible cough. I went to see my cousin the doctor, and she discovered I had bronchitis. Around the same time, Roberto had a fever. His mom put us both in her bed, and we watched television, took medicine, and tried to sleep off our diseases. This was not the vacation I had planned.

The Italian antibiotics were taking their toll on me, too. I simply felt weak all the time, and I was having a hard time breathing. One of the medications the doctor gave me caused extreme heart palpitations. I thought I was having a heart attack. Still, I survived. Even though I was coughing, the fever broke and I had a little color in my face. Roberto was back to his old self, too. He insisted I go to dinner with Lisa and him. I didn’t want to be the third wheel, so Roberto invited his friend Tony* to join us. Ten minutes into dinner at Pirozzi, a little restaurant near the Castello Aragonese in Ischia Ponte, Tony asked me when we’d get engaged. If I knew then…

*Some names and identifying characteristics of the real people involved have been changed.

Tune into this Web site, Two Worlds, every Monday for the latest installment in my blog about my experiences in Ischia, and every other Monday to ItaliansRus.com for the latest Our Paesani column about all things Italian. Di Meglio is also the Guide to Newlyweds for About.com.


Apr 15 2011

Maria Turns 1

The box was more fun than the gifts apparently. © Photo by Francesca Di Meglio

The box was more fun than the gifts apparently. © Photo by Francesca Di Meglio

Last week, we celebrated my niece Maria’s first birthday. As is usually the case, Maria had a fever and was not nearly as interested in the festivities as us adults. Still, there were some unforgettable moments, such as when she climbed into one of the gift boxes and tried to eat the foam peanuts rather than play with the toy inside and the cupcakes that were adorned with her adorable face (which Zia Francesca proudly made for her). You can see the cupcakes and more at the “Maria Turns 1” photo album.


Apr 11 2011

Ischia – Italy’s Islanders 7

Ischia has the face of a charmer but there are many layers underneath its facade. © Photo by Francesca Di Meglio

Ischia has the face of a charmer but there are many layers underneath its facade. © Photo by Francesca Di Meglio

Get the truth about one of Italy’s most popular islands – and its people – by reading my new weekly blog installments (every Monday morning right here on this site)

Chapter Seven – The Beginning of the End

Whenever you dream about something, such as a vacation, for a long time, you are bound to disappoint yourself. You create all these fantastic fantasies about how things are going to unfold, who you’ll meet, what you’ll see. And reality is never quite as good as the dream.

When my grandparents and I left for Ischia, a year after my weeklong sojourn on the island paradise, I was roaring with excitement. I was certain I was going to pick up where I left off and further discover the home of my ancestors and myself. In a way, I did learn more about myself and Ischia. But it was anything but paradise.

I had always felt like an insider in Ischia as if I was just one step away from being a full-fledged native. My parents had been taking me to Ischia since I was two years old, and I knew my relatives there fairly well. My Italian language skills were always improving, and I had become a big fan of RAI International television and Italian calcio. I, an American born Italian, knew the ins and outs of modern popular culture. My father had always regaled me with the lovely tales of his childhood – from hunting for mushrooms in Buceto to playing soccer against the Baranesi (kids from the town of Barano) in the piazza when he should have been at school. I knew how to get around the island and where to get the most delicious pizza and the best prosciutto.

By the end of this “vacation,” I would begin to learn that I was less of a native than I thought – and Ischia wasn’t the paradise I thought it was. First, my grandparents and I arrived in Naples, only to be stopped by the customs officers, who proceeded to take away a box of duty free cigarettes and a few packs of gum intended to be gifts for relatives. They said I did not look 25 and therefore could not be considered among the adults eligible to bring in these items. My grandfather is the one who bought them (I would never give out cigarettes to anyone), but there were three of us and we were within our limit. And I had identification, including my passport, proving I was well over 21. Oh well. Such is life in Naples, where some of the people in positions of power take advantage of the tourists to get cigarettes and American chewing gum.

Outside the doors of customs, cousin Roberto was waiting for us, along with his father Gabriele*. With a handle-bar mustache, short stature, portly belly, and balding head, he was the picture of middle-aged Neapolitans. He had a reputation in our family for being the nicest person on the planet and for always helping the other relatives when in need. He was a man of peace when lots of Italians – especially southern ones from small islands – are mixed up in arguments with relatives and neighbors about everything from the tree that touches the property line to the noise their kids make during the 3 p.m. siesta. Everyone was a friend of Gabriele. I personally had a soft spot for him. Whenever I was in Italy without my own parents by my side, I turned to Gabriele and his wife Franca for guidance and affection.

After a delicious reunion with two kisses – one for each cheek – and lots of hugs and “benvenutis,” we headed to the boat that would take us to Ischia. Roberto and I took to a corner of the boat and started catching up. While I explained how I decided to radically change my career and take this trip, he was toying with his cell phone. Up came a picture he was dying to show me. “Questa e’ mia ragazza Lisa,” he told me. “This is my girl, Lisa.” He went on and on about how she chased him and he was unsure at first. For the first few months that she flirted with him, he kept turning her down because he wasn’t sure if he was attracted to her and their families had feuded. Her persistence and the fact that she wooed his mom and sister, too, helped change his mind. Now, he seemed certainly smitten.

On the other hand, I was disappointed that the single guy who showed me around and helped me meet single Italian men last time around was now part of a couple. It meant that I would be the third wheel on this trip. Still, there was always a chance, the couple would introduce me to an eligible and handsome and oh-so-Italian friend.

*Some names and identifying characteristics of the real people involved have been changed.

Tune into this Web site, Two Worlds, every Monday for the latest installment in my blog about my experiences in Ischia, and every other Monday to ItaliansRus.com for the latest Our Paesani column about all things Italian. Di Meglio is also the Guide to Newlyweds for About.com.


Apr 6 2011

The Kid In You

Maria and her parents merrily go round. © Photo by Francesca Di Meglio

Maria and her parents merrily go round. © Photo by Francesca Di Meglio

I’m all about child-like wonder these days. That might be why I thoroughly enjoyed waving to my niece Maria and her parents as they took a spin on the merry-go-round at a local mall. It might also have something to do with why I posted a photo of the Legoland Royal Wedding on the About.com Newlyweds site today. You should find the kid in you and respond to him or her; go on the swings at the nearby park, play with your food, and blow bubbles in the garden. (More photos below the ad)


Maria and her mamma pose for a photo op. © Photo by Francesca Di Meglio

Maria and her mamma pose for a photo op. © Photo by Francesca Di Meglio

Maria and her papa catch mamma sneaking a peek over the horse's head. © Photo by Antonio Gerenini

Maria and her papa catch mamma sneaking a peek over the horse's head. © Photo by Antonio Gerenini


Apr 4 2011

Ischia – Italy’s Islanders 6

Ischia invited me back in 2004, and I jumped at the chance to return. © Photo by Francesca Di Meglio

Ischia invited me back in 2004, and I jumped at the chance to return. © Photo by Francesca Di Meglio

Get the truth about one of Italy’s most popular islands – and its people – by reading my new weekly blog installments (every Monday morning right here on this site)

Chapter Six – When My World Changed

When I returned to the States after a glorious week in Ischia in 2003, I had tasted paradise and I liked it. I immediately started planning my next trip. Since I had promised Roberto, his parents, and his sister that I’d bring my grandfather – their uncle – back for one more trip to the homeland, I knew I had to get my grandparents on board.

One year later, I broke the cardinal rule of jobs in New York, and I quit before I had another gig lined up. I planned to try my hand at freelancing while looking for something more appropriate (read – no more lady friendly porn for me). It was a struggle at first. But I hustled, and I had an assignment to write about Ischia from both an Italian American publication and a newspaper in California, where many Ischitani had moved during the first two waves of immigration to the United States.

Before I even left for Ischia again (which I did seven years ago today), I got started on these stories. And I snagged a part-time job with BusinessWeek magazine, helping with their business school rankings projects, for which I had already previously interned. I’d be starting as soon as I returned from this vacation with my grandparents.

So, my grandparents and I set off on a journey of a lifetime. It would likely be their last trip to Ischia. Although my grandmother was born in Astoria, her father was an Ischitano as was her husband, my grandfather. Roberto, in fact, is my grandfather’s great nephew and thus my cousin. Roberto’s father and my mother are first cousins. As we arrived in Ischia in 2004, I had a sense of tranquility that rushed over me. It was a feeling I had never experienced before.

Samantha and I had to leave Ischia like thieves in the night the year before. On Saturday afternoon, we learned that there were no boats leaving for Naples on Sunday, so we had to get to Naples immediately or risk missing our flight back to the United States. We left Franca*, Roberto’s mother, hysterical crying because she knew she was going to desperately miss us. The week had been special for everyone, not just us travelers. For us, even the unexpected night in Naples, when we crashed at another cousin’s apartment was memorable. We had the best pizza we’ve ever tasted and dreamed about the future while walking the streets of bella calda Napoli.

Even though Samantha wasn’t with me this time, it was as if I was finally completing that trip that we had left hanging. God was calling me to Ischia, and I followed. And it was a true turning point in my life.

*Some names and identifying characteristics of the real people involved have been changed.

Tune into this Web site, Two Worlds, every Monday for the latest installment in my blog about my experiences in Ischia, and every other Monday to ItaliansRus.com for the latest Our Paesani column about all things Italian. Di Meglio is also the Guide to Newlyweds for About.com.