Should You Wear Your Wedding Ring?


Wedding rings - Di Meglio
Wedding ring – to wear or not to wear? © Photo by Francesca Di Meglio

I come from a long line of married people, who almost never wear their wedding rings. In their defense, their jobs prohibit it. Landscapers, construction workers, and factory laborers shouldn’t wear jewelry that could get caught in machines and cause injury and damage. A few relatives learned the hard way, when their rings led to an accident that caused the loss of a finger. True story. So, the rest of us have learned the lesson.

Nixing the wedding ring makes total sense in those instances, right? But what about those in office jobs, who don’t wear their ring? When you’re Italian, many people already think you’re a Latin lover. Failing to wear the ring on the married finger just might send the message that you’re willing to fulfill the stereotype. That’s the argument I regularly have with my husband. He wears his ring everyday. In fact, unlike me, he never takes it off. But he wears it on a necklace around his neck. When he’s wearing a suit and tie, it’s under his shirt, and you don’t even see it. In my opinion (and it’s been seconded by many others), he’s a tall, dark, and handsome Italian man, which makes him a walking temptation. And I want people to know he’s taken, he’s mine, and they can’t have him. The ring should tell the world to back off and move out of the way for me, the wife. Is that too much to ask? Seriously, is that too much to ask?

So, every so often, we debate this issue. His argument is that he finds rings uncomfortable. Also, after having worked in a nightclub for most of his adult life, he believes women are more drawn to men wearing rings. He claims women relentlessly flirt and leave their numbers for the married men working the bar. I’ve never been a drinker, so I have never spent much time in clubs. Maybe I just don’t know what’s really going on in the world, which is entirely possible. I have always seen men wearing wedding rings as off limits.

I wear my ring every day. But I do take it off if I’m doing any physical labor or serious cleaning around the house. And I take it off before showering or going to sleep for the night. Although it’s only happened a few times, I have gone out in public without the ring. My husband could care less, but I feel naked without it now. These experiences have only reinforced my inability to understand his desire to be sans ring.

When I wrote about this argument for another publication in another life, many people sent in comments demanding I divorce my husband. God bless the Internet for the solidarity it produces. Note sarcasm. I failed to take their advice with good reason.

Yes, I would prefer my hot husband wore his wedding ring on his all-important finger. But the truth is that it doesn’t really matter. Plenty of married people, who wear their rings, cheat on their spouse. The ring guarantees nothing about faithfulness. In the end, you have to be able to look yourself in the mirror. It’s up to you to do the right thing whether you’re wearing your ring or not.

Di Meglio has written the Our Paesani column for since 2003. You can follow the Italian Mamma on Facebook or Twitter @ItalianMamma10.